The Lazlo Articles

With apologies to Don Novello for stealing the nom de plume

. . . that he stole from Lazlo Toth.*


Scenes from the Crooked W Ranch in Crawford, Texas

Impersonating an elected president

After a bad fall from a sheep


Article Index:

Ashcroft to vigorously enforce blasphemy, heresy laws

President-Elect Bush receives first national security briefing

Bush blames Clinton for tornadoes, floods

Heston, LaPierre criticize Olympic shooting format

Bush says Europe a fun place

White House announces bold new policy on global warming

Tape of Bush security briefing reveals new details

CIA, FBI caught unaware by solar eclipse

Ashcroft recovering from snakebite

President Bush says he is still determined to attack Idaho

Saddam upset in Iraqi election

New profile of sniper offered

Experts hone sniper profile

The brain implant articles

Russians end hostage crisis

Sniper prosecutors vying for jurisdiction

An exclusive interview with President George W. Bush

Republican Congress to move ahead on tort reform

The cowsmology foolishness (a brief respite from Lazlo)

Payback time for trial attorneys

Upsurge in jaywalking spurs congressional action

Bishops reconsidering policy on serial killer priests

New players making a splash on Capitol Hill

A strange and blighted land

Angry white girls

Lott clarifies racist remarks

Knowledge Gathering Bureau flourishing under Poindexter

Senator McConnell proposes new congressional motto

Wealthy Americans upset over double non-taxation

Bush declares victory in war on terrorism

Bush administration finds new use for old technology

Taliban regain control of capital

U.S. faults Blix for failure to recognize dual-use materials

Amazonian terrorists attack United States

Elderly librarian killed in skirmish with feds

Liberated Iraqis celebrate birth of free enterprise

Iraqi government records reveal sinister weapons

A special guest article by Geraldo Rivera

An exclusive interview with Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Information minister defends Operation Iraqi Fiefdom

A curious democracy taking root in Iraq

Rumsfeld downplays growing chaos in Iraq

An exclusive interview with Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge

Senator Santorum clarifies idiotic remarks

Sir Ian Partridge assesses the U.S. intelligence community

Sir Ian Partridge evaluates U.S. economic policy

Iraqi freedom and the thanks of a grateful nation

Weapons of mass destruction found in Iraqi desert

A special guest article by Jayson Blair

Bush is my co-pilot

Controversy heats up over Bush's war rationale

The Nigerian Uranium Internet Scam

Bush denies philosophical link with serial killer

Rice dismisses outrage over sixteen words

Researchers isolate genes for Republicanism

Enraged Supreme Court justice ejaculates from the bench

A thousand clowns

Mighty Mouse throws hat into crowded ring

Post hoc, ergo propter hoc

President says no U.S. soldiers dying in Iraq

An ostrich in every pot and every man a king

Bush defends continuing search in Iraq

Canada may be next under revised Bush Doctrine

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge on President George W. Bush

Halliburton denies war profiteering charges

Norwegian prime minster captured in pre-dawn raid

Saddam capture revealed as Bush Administration hoax

Bush administration planning invasion of Mars

Mars mission complicated by Zionist irredentism

The State of the Union

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge and the Age of Hypocrisy

Who killed Jesus?

Reign of the living dead

Death in the early evening

Annual egg hunt a dismal failure

Bush administration defends pre-9/11 malfeasance

Bush duped into Iraq war by Iranian spy

Ronald Reagan dead

God denies speaking through President George W. Bush

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge on the 2004 presidential race

Dan Rather sacked by CBS

Bush routs Kerry in first presidential debate

U.S. inspectors find no WMD in Iraq

The Bush Bible

Florida election officials gearing up for 2004

Fear and ignorance eke out a narrow victory

Arafat dies of old age, Palestinians blame Israel

President refuses to pardon Thanksgiving turkey

U.S. inspectors report no attack on Pearl Harbor

Congress approves "bare bones' spending bill

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge evaluates Bush's first term

Justice DeLayed is justice denied

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge blasts "scientific creationism"

An exclusive interview with America's First Dog

Tsunami lashes south Asia, Muslims blame U.S., Israel

Rumsfeld faces tough queries from U.S. troops

Bush's nominee for attorney general grilled by Dems

Election violence

Elections in Iraq a resounding success

Time to support a great president

Life support terminated in Florida artichoke case

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge on U.S. anti-terrorism efforts

Bush vows to veto wheel legislation

'Deep Throat' identity finally revealed

Bush responds calmly to Katrina's devastation

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge on Hurricane Katrina

Feral pet rocks a nationwide menace

Bono debt relief plea falls on deaf ears

Iraqi parliamentary elections successful

Episcopalians trampled at communion

Scores killed in assault on Georgia coast

Vatican intrigue rampant following death of pope

Sir Ian Heathcliffe Partridge on the Iranian Bomb

Islamic world in uproar over imaginary slight

Cheney defends attack on hunting companion

Bush's India visit off to rocky start

Three million dead in North Korean nuclear test

Bush says he is learning on the job


The New Bill of Rights (suitable for framing)


* Lazlo Toth is the Hungarian-born Aussie lunatic who attacked Michelangelo's Pieta

with a hammer on May 21, 1972. As he was subdued and dragged away by security

guards, he shouted, "I don't know much about art, but I know what I like!" When last

heard from, Mr. Toth had completed his prison sentence and returned to Australia

where he lives in richly deserved obscurity.


Mr. Novello's Lazlo books, The Lazlo Letters, Citizen Lazlo and From Bush to Bush are available at Amazon.com.


All articles © 2002-06 Stoatweasel Publishing, Inc.