Honesty
OK, first, let's get this out of the way. No excuses for the gap in my posts, only reasons. The last weeks of school, a busy summer full of family, home improvement projects and job hunting are my only rationale. As always, it's not because I haven't had anything to say - I've just actually been saying it, in person, rather than virtually.
For example, when a fellow teacher yells at me in front of a parent after not telling me what time we were to meet, instead of venting here for all of you, I told her what I would have written - that I didn't want anything to do with her until she managed an apology. Since she doesn't manage an apology often, I knew what I was in for. Now, after what I'm sure was political pressure from her, I'm looking for another teaching job.
In that vein, and following several interviews for a teaching job this summer, I'm faced with the question - is honesty, warts and all, akin to professional suicide? Is that the world we live in? Need I gloss myself over in an effort to get a job? That's not the marriage I want, it's not the relationship I want with my children, family or friends. Sure, I could - and have - but why can't we aspire to a more genuine path without fear of reprisal, loss of popularity, or anything else.
When my family faces 'underemployment' and all that comes with it - is it wrong of me to add to the pressure by being forthright, having integrity, and stating facts plainly. Does my idealism get in the way of the realism we face? I really hope not, after all, I'm just trying to do the right and ethical thing.
Feel free to comment, not like anyone is really reading this - but do know that I realize the weight due the comments of my dear wife, and the lessons learned by my children, and the incomparable ethic of God - will be my ultimate guide.
3 Comments:
Surprise, there is at least one person reading your blog. I jumped in here one day. I bookmarded you because I lived in Tualitin long time ago.
I'm sorry to hear about your job. I do believe you are right though in being honesty, unfortunately the world is not an honest place. I commend you on keeping your integrity. Keep it up and post often.
okay. where do i start. how about by saying that i'm for honesty 100% in everything. having said that, i think the issue is not 'should you be honest?', but rather, 'how honest should you be?' there is only so much honesty the average person can take and in certain doses, so yes, honesty IS professional suicide. believe me, i threw away a cruise to the carribean being honest.
does being honest mean that you open your mouth and let out a free flow of your inner dialogue? sometimes. but usually not in the work setting and almost never with superiors. it doesn't make for polite coffee banter. however, i think most people don't know how to have anything other than polite coffee banter, but they DO think about deep personal things. everyone does. yet, in my experience, the farther up the hierarchy you go, the older and more people have shut off that part of themselves. they approach life from a completely different worldview and set of morals and ethics. so they can only take so much 'raw honesty'.
that doesn't mean that you can't grind up some raw truth into powder and salt their food with it, however. if they have ears, they will slowly begin to hear. some people don't hear. and that is frustrating. but that's not something you can help.
i'm not saying you should lie. i'm just saying that sometimes the people who make decisions in places of authority might not look at life the same as you and that difference needs to be respected as long as you don't find yourself actually going against what you believe. and if you believe that honesty is saying everything that comes into your head, then i'm sorry, there's no advice i can give you. i do not think that this is your stance, though, as you are still married. so, since you don't find sin in censoring yourself to advance your causes with your wife (including all the mean things you know you shouldn't say. even this is censoring. and for good reason!) why do you feel like this might be wrong in the realm of professionalism?
It's been a long time since I stopped by, Ken. I do try to check in on you from time to time. =) Congratulations on your growing family!
You have faced this situation before. I faced it. I did much the same thing you did and in the end, I too wound up looking for another job.
I learned from that experience there is a time to fight and a time to walk away. Being open and honest with someone who can get you fired may make -you- feel better, but in the end, it accomplishes very little - except your quick exit.
However, that you would choose to be honest is a quality deserving admiration and the fact that you were in the right is not diminished. My only advice would be that sometimes, walking away knowing you are "the better person" is far more rewarding than getting into an angry confrontation. God is watching, after all.
I for one, can say that I took a lesson from you a long time ago and decided to be honest. It's a difficult road to follow, but I haven't looked back since, and I continue to try to hold myself to that standard.
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