In Jest
Humor at Work
May 2008
In the world of humor there is something called irony. Basically it means saying the opposite of what is true. In the world of politics it seems to be true as well. For example, of the three candidates for president one is married to an heiress with millions of dollars. One has over 100 million dollars. One went to college on student loans. So which one is called the elitist. Yep you got it---the one with student loans.
AND NOW SOME SATIRE
If you have humor like the piece that follows where you work your organization is in real trouble. Note that I have not identified the organization or the source.
"EMPLOYEE SALE: That's right friends. You heard it here first. It will cost us too much to lay them off so
WE'RE SELLING THEM.
We must get down to our new one employee per business unit goal, and you can help us. All races, creeds, colors, religions, sexes, and sexual orientations available.
YOU SAY YOU WANT NEW. Ww've got em Employees with low mileage---high performance and a lot of years left.
YOU SAY YOU WANT OLD RELIABLES? We've got em---The paint is a little gray and they grumble a little but they've seen it all and keep on working.
We've been laying these employees off for years and losing all that severance pay. Now you can help us make a little money in the process.
So come one, come all to the first annual employee sale. (Buy two and get a free IPOD)
THE STUFFED TOY COW
Joyce, a workshop participant gives us this fun story:
"This is a true story about some humor that went on recently where I work. We have a gift exchange going on at work called a secret pal group. Most everyone knows what that is but in case you don't know, I'll tell you. It's a person who gives you a gift once in a while and you don't know who that person is until the established time to reveal your name.
Recently one of my co-workers got a stuffed toy cow from her secret pal. Several co-workers decided to kidnap her cow. The plot began with her getting a ransom note, with pictures of the cow in peril during the day. (One was captioned: Help me mom. Don't let me end up a frozen hamburger like Uncle Ralph.) Frankly I thought it was hysterical. Our supervisor said she thought that someone had too much time on their hands to waste.
The girl the cow belonged to found nothing funny about it and at the end of the day made little comments to our director to try to get the cow nappers (rustlers) in trouble. The director found it to be hysterical and wanted to make copies of the pictures to show his wife. (By the way since the director found it to be funny so did our supervisor---an amazing about face.)
The last note from the bad guy cow nappers said,, "If you want to see Bessy alive, you will put a bag of M&M's on the back file cabinest and we will release her to you." The girl said she wouldn't do that and she thought this was such a rude thing to do. After all the secret pal had given the cow to her and the cow was probably ruined and dirty from all the places Bessy had been. Someone else in our office paid the ransom and the cow was returned.
The crazy part of this story is that the secret pal was the primary cow napper."
You can bring a horse to water?
Rosa tells this story about a supervisor's effort in a meeting:
"In the middle of the meeting our supervisor George reminded us to check the vehicle we were assigned to along with the trailer. This opened a dialogue between Larry and our supervisor: Larry said: 'You mean like the thorough check you did on the blind horse you bought not too long ago?"
George's face became red. Larry went on: 'He called me and asked how long a horse would stand in the same place without moving. It had been two days. Larry said "do you think he's blind?". The response was "of course not. What would I do with a blind horse. Besides how can I tell if he's blind."
'Move your hand in front of his eyes. If he doesn't blink he's blind.' George said 'nothing happened." Larry said "Take the horse back where you got him and get your money back." Later that
evening came another call: 'Larry the horse hasn't drunk any water. Larry: "Where is he?" George: "He's standing at the same place he was when I called you last." Well take him to water. George took the horse over to a bathtub filled with water.
After about an hour of conversation George asked: "How much water can a horse drink?" Larry responded 'The damn horse hasn't seen water in two days, he is going to drink water until he cannot drink no more, and then some, just in case your forget to walk him to the tub.'
Needless to say, the entire crew laughed so hard we had tears coming out of our eyes.
George, who has no problem laughing at himself finished the story: "I had to go to court to get my money back. The previous owner told the judge that the horse ran all over in his place. And the judge said of "Of course, the horse had years to learn his surroundings."
George finished: "Okay you clowns but I still I want you to check your vehicles and trailers."
Text Messaging in the Workplace?
Those of you about to enter the workplace have grown-up with text messaging. Some of you already in the workplace may need some help in deciphering what it is all about. To help both groups we have put together a combined list of text messages: First those the millenium group brings with them followed by new coinages that will be instant hits:
- weg: wicked evil grin
- aut?: are you there?
- f2f: face to face)
- afaik: as far as I know
- gal: get a life
- fyeo: for your eyes only
- b4b: before break
- mp: motivation problem
- tlho: trouble left here okay
- bwoh: boss's way or highway
- mt: multi-tasking
- dks: don't know stuff
- whas: working harder and smarter
- bob: boss over back
- cs: clueless supervisor
- bs: blame somebody
- iwok: I was only kidding
- mooo: manager out of office
I'M THE BOSS
John Maxwell, author of the 360 Leader, tells this story:
"I love the story of Karl who enjoyed a good laugh at his office after he attached a small sign to his door which read: "I'm the Boss."
The laughter was even louder when he returned from lunch and saw that someone had made an addition to his sign. Next to it was a yellow Post-it note on which someone had scribbled: "Your wife called and said she wants her sign back."
JESTURES
As soon as you're through reading this I want you to go out and look for funny stuff within 100 feet of your desk. Look at bulletin boards. Look for signs that could be misread or misunderstood. Misunderstand them.
You have our permission to put http://home.teleport.com/~laff9to5/laff9to5.html in your IRS file. Particularly if you asked for an extension to file your taxes.
and for those persons who are humor deficient send your copy of Laughing Nine to Five to your mortgage lender to show that you have no hard feelings.
...and one final thought: go to school and take a credit distant learning class called Humor in the Workplace at Portland (OR) Community College.
...but if your supervisor is nervous about approving payment for such a course, tell him there is a course called Humanizing the Workplace. (It's the same course but that can be our little secret.) It is offered at Clark College in Vancouver, Washington (across the Columbia river.) (http://www.clark.edu/Distance)
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E mail us: laff9to5@teleport.com
Steelhead Press, 685 SW 84th Avenue, Portland OR 97225;
503.292.0988; Email: laff9to5@teleport.com
Last updated:4/25/2008