public transformation
09 february 2004the marks are tornfrom deluge twistedmy face gives waymy hands are fistedI fight all dayfrom causes missedmy lips are curledmy mouth it hissesI'll not allowthis barrier crossedno one will knowwhat brings this frostmy chest is crunchedmy heart is painedit beats like dropsdown a dirty drainmy nails are crackedas is my facethe world so tiredlike the human racemy hair is dyedmy breasts are fakeI imagined a personI wanted to makebut nowhere dearis found this treasurenot sex nor lovenor through pleasureshe only existsat the edge of a mindand over she goesyou cannot findI die each dayI rise againin this jail of minealways closed inmy mind my soulmy body my breathmy only hopea fun loving deathno one can followthis path I choseit's me now me nowme aloneit's me now me nowthat's how it flowsthis river of methat's how it goesdon't try to seeyou'll not understandi'll just confusewith a slap of handif eyes are windowsinto the soulmine are mirrorsthat will grow coldplease don't you fretdon't give a thoughti know this is notwhat you had soughti warned i wasand will be strangeyou should have suspectedquite derangedthere is no knowing kathyshe's too far goneover edge of hopea mess alonenow show compassiongive her a breakher pain in the chestis too much to takea touch a whispera hush or shoutshe will never, nevernever come outa hole in the groinis a hole in her heada spike up the assand she will be deadso this is the storynothing much to tellour sweety named kathyin her own private hell.
belately working
okay, we'll figure that out....I am feeling hopelessly sleepy right now, I was actually falling asleep sitting here.... maybe some snacks will help when I get home....ten more minutes and I am out of here....I am ......becomimg.........inco.......................herent.........my eyes....are...so ...heavy.................I am falling.............................into a deep cloud..............a deep deep cloud..............nine more minutes........a deep cloud...so peaceful....so quiet..........so inviting......my mind is a pillow.......I must close....my...eyes........I must put my head down......a big pillow..a deep cloud......six more minutes..........five more...pillows.......my eyes are so heavy......my mind is a pillow............my eyes are a cloud.........my mind is five more minutes...my eyes..a pillow......four more eyes...my mind is a minute...a pink cloud.....a must put my eyes down.....three more minds..a pillow..a........a......a..............
13 february 2004
christopher Kaleidoscope
To Christopher Kaleidoscope,
25 march 2004
Your mind is a dance of shifting images
And colors and objects,
Pieces of beauty, fragments of pain
Feelings forming
And dissolving
In a wink and a blink
In a thousand directions
Converging on me
Hi Sweets!
How are you doing today?
Do I get a kiss?
Do I get a smile?
Tell me a poem.
Let me hear your deep red thoughts
That come from behind the beautiful blue-grays
Your silver shining eyes
That glisten like kaleidoscopes
Like sharp sparkling razors
Like flashing stars
That hold such power
That betray such sadness
That reach out with such hunger
And are filled with such longing
That can ignite with such heat
That can laugh with such sweetness
Oh Christopher, be with me
Let me be your mirror
Let us gently place the fragments together
Like a living, moving, breathing puzzle
So you can behold your own self
So we can see the beauty and light
So that I can look in your mirror
And see myself there too
Christopher Kalaidoscope
Your mind is dance of objects and colors
And a swirling point of consciousness
A burning twirling light
Searching for love
Searching for me.