The A-Team -
bad acting by so many in one vehicle could only be topped with the show's
syndication and the reason for doing that to so many.
Alf
- mixing form may have been cutsie with the Roger Rabbit movie, but puppets
to reduce the cost of actors is only that: non-funny and obnoxious.
The Anna Nicole Show - example of the decline of civilization and the symptoms of lead poisoning.
Barnaby Jones - the Buddy Epson proof of concept of the crystalline urine theory.
Barney Miller - deadpan made for panning or viewing by the already-dead.
Battlestar Galactica - Lorne Greene needed dogfood ads to rescue him after this.
Being Bobby Brown
- "You dumbass." (Milk Chan); this show is the epitomy of an industry
that can't get enough of dysfunctionality and it appears some aspire to these
depths.
Bonanza - boring western about the rich.
The Brady Bunch - would you play with these kids?!
Charlie's Angels - the best thing about this show was videotaping, so I could record and erase it, kind of like flushing the toilet.
CHiPS - flatness on wheels.
Bill Cosby Show - canned integration without integration.
Crossing Over with John Edwards - neither science, nor good fiction, this plagues the SciFI channel.
Deep Space Nine - a bad combo of Cheers, how to recycle polyester lesiure suits, Friends, and Investor's Report Weekly
Dragnet - montotony of voice and a cork up his ass is a great role model.
Dukes of Hazard - dumbification before its time.
Everyone Loves Raymond
- I don't, so that's fraud; the worst ever from Peter Boyle, the best ever
from the obnoxious mother. This family needs to commit gene suicide.
Frasier
- bourgeois wussies on parade; that these characters couldn't last a day
on the street or in the woods, but got continuously awarded is truly astounding.
Full House
- laugh along with staged unreality and hope it's funny. Missing the repeating
background of Hanna-Barbara cartoons of the 60s, it has a repeating foreground.
Growing Up Gotti - the family that cannot hit the invaders of the neighborhood invades yours and puts the hit on you. Fok 'em.
The Honeymooners - loud yelling always beats good writing any day.
I Love Lucy - maybe the ongoing lamest show ever tied with The Honeymooners.
The Jeffersons - the equality of abuse, fat women, and bad jokes.
Judge Judy - how to behave like a Nazi judge yelling at conspiring anti-Hitler German generals.
Knight Rider - a sexually-repressed car drives around an 80-IQ glamour boy.
The Larry King Show
- see the already-dead interview the wanna-be-dead. Will his head finally
sink through his neck between those alien suspender straps? It's almost
tempting to watch. Just kidding....
Lost in Space - bad sets, acting, writing, and obnoxious personalities.
The Lost World - how the world got lost and their laundry saop and makeup each week did not is testimony to this show's realism.
The Million Dollar Man
- The show that affixess a price on humanity before inflation makes you worthless.
The Mod Squad
- I always wanted Linc to jump off a cliff and to tell the writers to get
a clue about the culture they thought they were imitating.
The Munsters
- bad copy of The Addams Family. I suppose the concept of intellectual property
would apply if there was any intellectuality involved.
The Nanny - the most obnoxious voice I've ever heard except for a guest woman on Seinfeld.
Paid Programming -
the inequality of workshifts. In the daytime, adult programming is
censored or avoided altogether. After 5pm it's montononous and programming
the viewer. After 11pm it's non-existent. This shift subsidizes the
other two timeslots by filling up 50-67% of its channels with advertising;
viewers once were told that cable/satellite television would eliminate
advertising by charging a monthly rate. Instead, they have slowly moved all
films off into a higher pay bracket, and play only the mundane (i.e., high-bandwidth
broadcasting is good for a pricebreak so the cheap - bland and boring - rules
the airwaves). All gaps are filled with ads that promise the stars
and deliver very little more than slick circumvention of what public protection
law still is covered when FCC law no longer applies.
The Partridge Family - another family to avoid if being three-dimensional is your cup-of-tea.
Petticoat Junction
- precursor to The Dukes of Hazard, festering the same admiration for the
English language and high-brow humor. The old fart is the type one finds
peeping around in alleyways, drooling and mumbling to himself. Move over
Hemingway, this is reality.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - show based on haughty sexism and self-righteous pomp; fash(ion)ism.
Rat Patrol - brazen machismo righteously kills "krauts" at the county fair's desert booth.
Roseanne - canned laughter dysfunctionality as good it supposedly gets.
Sanford and Son
- weak plot, quantitatively qualitative: more stupidity should leap in aHegelian
sense into the qualitative, shouldn't it? Please make it do that....
Saturday Night Live - predictably redundant and unfunny skits wore out anything that ever was funny.
Saved by the Bell - if school was redundant and you liked it as such, you'll like this.
Starsky and Hutch - another stupid cop show. Gotta keep those hypnotized C-student minds under the gun everywhere.
S.W.A.T. - and when cop shows don't convince docility, bullets will.
? (show with geekish black kid with high voice and pants)
Three's Company - the death of many on this show, but never itself.
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
- cliche of itself; the same old plot of an attacking monster with crew members
rolling from side-to-side, even before the ship gets its cue.
The Waltons - show about a Momma's Boy with a mole on his face. Wow. Neat. The 1930s and 1940s without union-busting and the conditions of The Grapes of Wrath. Realistic with regards to open-doors and jobseekers.
Welcome Back, Kotter - please don't come back here.
Wonder Woman - plastic woman.
