1. Do not let your work get too close to the other artistsı work in a group show. Each artist should be distinct. Especially do not place your work in the middle of another artistıs work.
2. Put art on the wall or pedestal at eye level
3. small sculptures go on pedestals
4. art should be well-lit using spot lights if necessary.
5. art should be clearly labeled with artistsı name and other vitals such as materials and price. This should be on a little white card that is typed.
6. artists wear black.
7. artists dress professionally for their openings.
8. art should be expensive.
9. art should have a concept. the more abstract or vague, the better.
10. art can be ironic, but not simply fun. viewers who get the joke are smart.
11. artists should have formal art training, preferably graduate school. All others who donıt qualify for ³outsider² status are not worthy of serious gallery representation.
12. artists should have a lot of exhibition experience or they are not good. Invitational are more valuable than juried shows. Solo or 2-person, more valuable than group, unless the venue or curator are particularly high-powered.
13. real art is shown in professional galleries.
14. art should be separate from the wall or pedestal
15. all art works should be titled
16. galleries should be sparse. art needs space around it.
17. gallery walls and pedestals should be painted white with a concrete or hard wood floor. this helps to de-emphasize the architecture or furnishings.
18. no small art on the floor. it should be in a vitrine--make it look more precious
19. donıt hang small art up high on the ceiling.
20. artists should not wear a name tag at opening
21. self-promotion of artists is tacky. no promotional gimmicks are accepted such as mugs, tattoos, magnets, etc.
22. art galleries should do all promotion of their artists
23. artists should not show pride or blatant satisfaciton in their work.
23a. In the gallery venue, sneering at the artwork (of others) is allowed; teeth baring is not. Certainly not within the sight of "the others." Snide remarks should be kept to a minimum.
24. art should be made from materials purchased at an art supply store.
25. art should be separate from craft.
26. artists should only create their serious art--make other income (if necessary) by teaching or art-related jobs. Waiting tables is acceptable, but more so for actors. It is not okay to sell cheaper productions lines of art works.
27. Buying a piece of art to match your furnishings is low-brow.
28) Artists should talk to only important people (curators, directors, really rich people) at show openings. All others should be avoided especially those with technical questions.
29) Real Artists should be poor until there untimely penniless deaths from things like drug overdoses. Then people will want their things.
30. Artists should not be too eager to show their work; Blasé` is better.
31. The "Artist Statement" should not reveal too much about the artist or her emotional process; Intellect, revealed in references to obscure movements or theoretical writings, in far better